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I have been married for almost 26 years and for all but the last 3 have been a stay at home mom and housewife. Did I take to the role at first. NO WAY!!! I hated cooking and cleaning and it showed in how my home looked. This was a frustrating thing between my husband and I that brought many a sleepless night from fighting about it. Then one day I woke up and decided that I'm just going to master this thing and that is all there is to it. Over the course of 10 long painstaking months I transformed myself into a Marth Stewart type person. Up until last year I became a fantasic cook and decorator and all around domestic goddess. I excelled at doing it and loved it. I took great pride in my home and my abilities. Then a freak accident took those abilities away and I'm learing all over again how to do them.

My point why did I do this? When I soul search it was not to please my husband or to stop the fights it was because I knew I was better than that and I and only I took the needed steps to change that because I wanted to. Now did my husband get enjoyment out of my reform? YES!!!!! He adored it and me and the life that I gave him with these changes. Did that make me happy? Of course it did.

Now I have a successful business that I run within my home and it tends to take away from chores that need doing but him and I do things together. So I have lived both sides of the coin so to speak and see it only as the life that I live at the time. I see fulfillment in both types of life that I lived.

So where do I fit in? I'm not sure. I do enjoy pleasing my husband as he enjoys pleasing me but I don't feel as if it defines who I am or makes me feel lovely or lusty because of it? It might to him but it doesn't to me.
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